When You Don’t Have Anything to Say

We live in a time where it’s really, really easy to shout your opinion to the world. Social media makes it scary simple at times. With the click of a button, we can share an article that may or may not be true and influence hundreds of people. Not to mention we’re always wanting to present the best version of ourselves online. I don’t think we’ve realized how dangerous it is to always feel the need to be amazing.

Part of the reason I haven’t written on this blog in a few months is simply because I didn’t really have anything to say. In this season of my life, I’ve been writing a lot but all in journals or otherwise unseen places. It’s honestly so freeing and soul-healing to be unseen.

In life, I believe we’re always supposed to be learning and listening. It never stops. However, I believe there are some seasons where the Lord will specifically have you share publicly with other people what He’s teaching you and other seasons where He needs to do a deep, soul work in you—privately.

Don’t allow yourself to speak too much before you’ve listened plenty. For God to use you in big ways, He has to do a big work inside of you. And I don’t know about you, but He’s got a lot of work to do in me still. I could probably shut up a lot more than I do.

No one ever wrecked their life because they paused to listen the Holy Spirit. But I’ve known plenty of people (including myself) who have rushed into some pretty bad decisions after the words “God told me…”. 

Don’t rush the season you’re in by clawing your way to more influence, a certain job title, or the desire to be “Instagram famous.” God never rushes; He is patient, and His timing is always perfect.

Disappointed by God

Has God ever let you down?

At times, our expectations of what God should do are different from what God actually does. It’s easy during times like this to put the pressure back on ourselves and think that it was our fault—that we didn’t pray hard enough, didn’t have enough faith, or didn’t hear God clearly in the first place.

However, there are times where what God does or doesn’t do never really makes sense to us, and if we’re honest, we know we had faith. We know we prayed hard.

No one knew this better than John the Baptist. John was sitting in prison, all because Herod was ticked off that John was criticizing his relationship choices (you should read your Bible, it’s like a soap opera.) And John likely was waiting. Waiting on Jesus. After all, why wouldn’t Jesus come and rescue him?

In Matthew 11:3, John asks this of Jesus: “Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?”

In other words, “Are you really who you say you are? Are you actually the Messiah? Because it seems like if you were, I wouldn’t be sitting here in this dirty prison cell.”  

When I read this, I would expect that Jesus would show up triumphantly, break down the prison walls, and rescue John. (That sounds like a great worship song, doesn’t it?)

Instead, Jesus says this:

“Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen—the blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor.” Matthew 11:4-5

He doesn’t answer John’s question directly with a “yes” or “no” answer, but I think as soon as John heard this, he knew that Jesus was the Messiah. After all, how else could the blind see, the deaf hear, and dead be raised to life?

Then Jesus adds something that reframes everything and turns everything upside down.

And he added, “God blesses those who do not fall away because of me.” Matthew 11:6

Um, what?

I would have thought Jesus might say, “God blesses those who don’t fall away because of the temptations of the devil. God blesses those who don’t fall away even when culture isn’t aligned with my principles. God blesses those who don’t fall into sin.”

But he doesn’t say any of that. He says, “God blesses those who do not fall away because of me.” Another translation of that same verse says, “God blesses those who are not offended by me.

Essentially, Jesus was saying that you’re blessed if you’re not offended by God’s activity—or lack thereof.

Honestly, that’s hard for me to get my mind around. I often expect that God will answer all of my prayers, and if He doesn’t, I assume it’s because I didn’t have enough faith.

Jesus is saying that you will, at times, be disappointed by His lack of activity.

The marriage still fell apart. The cancer wasn’t cured. The prodigal son never returned. John the Baptist was still beheaded in prison.

Our circumstances are not necessarily a reflection of His goodness.

You’re blessed when you can trust God in the valleys even after you’ve seen Him move mountains. Sometimes the blessing is there even without the breakthrough.

If you’re going through a difficult season right now, I pray you’ll trust He’s good, even when you’re disappointed by Him.

The Gift of Being Unseen


There’s something in all of us that craves to be seen, to be noticed, to be praised. That’s why we want to have the best-selling book, the blue check on Instagram, or the fancy title at work.

Your desire to be seen actually comes from God, because you were meant to be seen by Him. You have a longing in your heart to be important because God designed you to be important to Him. The reason you crave praise is because your Heavenly Father delights in you and sings praises over you.

I’m ashamed to admit that many times I’ve misused seemingly good and seemingly God things to try to make myself seem important. It’s astonishing, actually, how successful you can be by being a professional Christian—just turn on Christian radio or stop by a Christian bookstore and you’ll know what I mean.

I’m not at all attempting to slam those industries—the majority of people in them have very noble and pure motives. However, I’m learning that there’s something our generation of Christianity is lacking, and that’s the gift of being unseen.

There is something beautiful, and holy, I think, about pouring out our lives in private, surrendered service to God. It’s easy to build a personal brand. It’s much harder to die to yourself and kill your selfish ambitions. It’s easy to get a lot of Instagram followers while talking about Jesus, if you play the game right. It’s harder to take up your cross and follow Him for yourself.

There’s a reason I call it the gift of being unseen and not the curse of being unseen. You can have a million Instagram followers and all the influence in the world yet never feel content. But you can be known by no one other than your Heavenly Father and feel the peace that passes all understanding.

If the fire in you doesn’t burn brighter than the fire on you, you’ll be consumed by the heat.

God desires that we understand we’re known by Him before we attempt to make Him known to other people. That’s why so many people in full-time ministry can burn out so quickly and often. If the fire in you doesn’t burn brighter than the fire on you, you’ll be consumed by the heat.

Open His Word and let it fill your life without posting a picture of your devotional on Instagram (guilty.) Allow yourself to be hidden to the world and be seen by God alone.

If you’re in a season of being unseen, don’t fight it. Rest in it. He sees you, and He’s preparing you for something bigger than you can imagine right now—but first, you have to be willing to embrace the gift of being unseen.

The Simple Prayer That Helps Me Get More Done


On any given day, we all have a lot to do. You don’t need me to tell you that. In fact, Americans are more stressed out than ever before. Because of smartphones, we’re always connected to our email and notifications, a constant reminder that there’s still more to do.

Every day has 24 hours, and every week has seven days. There’s no changing this. No matter how much you wish for more time, there simply isn’t any. However, I’ve learned that when I honor God with my time, He’s able to do something miraculous with it.

In the Bible, there’s plenty of stories of multiplication. One of the most famous examples is the miracle of Jesus feeding the 5,000—multiplying just a few pieces of bread and fish to feeding thousands of people.

When I was thinking about this recently, I realized that the same God who can multiply fishes and loaves can do the same thing with our time. No, God isn’t adding a twenty-fifth hour to the day or an eighth day of the week, but He is able to multiply what we can do with the time we have.

That’s why I’ve started praying this super-simple prayer when I’m overwhelmed with what I have to do:

“God, stretch my time.”

And you know what’s crazy? He does.

Now, let’s be clear: God isn’t helping me get everything done. It’s not that my inbox is always empty or every chore is magically done. Rather, He gives me something even better: discernment. Discernment to know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. The more I pray this simple prayer, the more I end up saying “no” to things that don’t actually matter, and “yes” to the things that really do.

The best thing you can do for your productivity is stop trying to do everything. Instead, pray for discernment to know how you should be spending your time and strength to do the things required of you.

Do you know why God commanded that we take a Sabbath and rest? He intentionally designed us as finite beings who need rest, because then we have to rely on and trust Him. When I pray for God to stretch my time, I’m praying for Him to help me trust that He’s running the world and I don’t have to.

Broken Cisterns

My people have committed two sins: 
They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, 
and have dug their own cisterns, 
broken cisterns that cannot hold water
Jeremiah 2:13 NIV

When I read this verse recently, I realized the sins listed are two separate things—and you commit one and not the other. You can find the living water, but if your cistern is broken, you can’t fully contain it. Broken cisterns can never hold water that satisfies. 

For so long I’ve thought the broken cisterns in my life were the really bad things—like pride, anger, greed, or addiction. And they are, certainly. But seemingly innocent things can also be cracked cisterns—Netflix, Instagram, working out, dinner with friends, and perhaps even ministry itself. 

I’m completely convinced that if Satan can’t tempt you into destroying yourself with sin, he’ll try to destroy you with comfort. You’re reading your Bible, praying every once in a while, and regularly going to church. You’ve checked all the right boxes. But perhaps you’re getting just close enough to Jesus to think you know Him, but you haven’t experienced Him fully. We get comfortable. We get complacent. We settle for a mediocre relationship with our Savior, the One who gave His life for us. 

How often do I look forward to time with Jesus over watching another show on Netflix? Do I have more compassion for the characters on This is Us than the actual, living, breathing people God has placed in my life?

It breaks my heart to see this in my own life and the life of other Christians—getting the living water, but having so many broken cisterns we can’t hold onto it. This isn’t a salvation issue—you can be saved but never fully experience the presence of Jesus here on earth. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that. I want Jesus—here, now, every day. 

So here’s my challenge to you: find the broken cisterns in your life. Identify the things you’ve used to replace a fully devoted relationship with Jesus, and commit to not letting them control your soul anymore. 

2017: Living with Expectation

For the past few years, I’ve chosen a word and verse that would set the trajectory of the year for me. In 2014, when I moved to Oklahoma, I chose grow. In 2015, my word was focus. Last year, I chose present.

In 2016, I got engaged, I got married, traveled outside the U.S. for the first time, and moved twice. After all of that, I realize now why present was supposed to be my word. So many amazing things happened that it would have been easy to not pause and enjoy them all had I not had present as an anchor for me.

When I look forward to this new year, I’ve chosen EXPECTANT as my word for 2017.

This year, I’m believing that God will give me more clarity, strengthen relationships, and work more in my life than I could ever ask or imagine.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Ephesians 3:20 (MSG)

Here’s to 2017!

How I Realized I Didn’t Really Know Jesus

In Matthew 7, Jesus is talking to a crowd when He tells them that even though there will be people who cast out demons and prophesy in His name, He’ll say to them “I never knew you.” 

This seems rather harsh, doesn’t it? Because I don’t know about you, but I’ve never cast out a demon or performed a miracle—so if they can’t make it, what good am I?

Jesus, however, wasn’t saying that you had to do those things to make it to Heaven. He wasn’t even saying you had to do more than that. He said you need to know Him. And I can tell you from experience that you can do a lot of things in the name of Jesus without actually knowing Him.

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize I spent time on doing things for God but not actually knowing Him at all. I don’t want to realize one day that all the work I did will be burned up because it was self-serving instead of God-honoring. 

Knowing the correct password—saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance—isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, ‘Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.’ And do you know what I am going to say? ‘You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’
 —Matthew 7:21-23 MSG

I’m going to completely, 100% transparent with you. That verse terrifies me. Because if I’m honest, I know that I’ve missed the boat before. I know that sometimes I’ve let the idea of being a good person equate being a person who actually knows God intimately. I have, at times, used God to make myself important. Not anymore. 

I’m choosing private, unseen surrender over publicly applauded artificial service. I’d rather have no one ever know my name than realizing I never actually knew the only Name worth knowing. 

Whether you’ve been a Christian for a few months or a few decades, I pray that you will find Him again. I pray you’ll surrender everything, even if it means losing everything but Jesus. It’s worth it, I promise.