Six-year-olds are not nearly as self-conscious as 16-year-olds or 26-year-olds. Have you noticed it’s a lot harder to make friends as an adult than as a kid? That’s likely because at some point in adolescence we learn to feel something that we aren’t born with: shame.
Shame is the greatest roadblock on the path to successful relationships. At some point we begin believing we have the worst flaws; that we need to fix ourselves because we’re horribly, horribly, broken. So we hide. We don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable with anyone, afraid of what they might think or afraid they might leave—because sometimes the pain of rejection can feel worse than isolation.
I want to tell you something that maybe you’ve never heard before, but I hope these words sink deeply into your soul: your flaws aren’t fatal.
I wonder how often we’re missing out on life-giving relationships because we secretly believe we’re not good for people. We secretly believe that the stuff in our past that we’ve moved on from and been forgiven of is still too dark for anyone else to handle.
I think most people who read this blog know and understand that God loves them. I’ve found, however, that God often reveals His love most to me through other people, and maybe that’s true for you too. And I think you need to know that there are other people who will love you if you let them in.
You aren’t too far gone.
You aren’t too bad.
You’re not too much to handle.
You aren’t unlovable or irredeemable.
You aren’t cut off from hope.
Your flaws aren’t fatal.